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Confessions of a single girl on Valentines Day

Updated: Aug 29, 2019

This is one of my favourite topics ever!!

Every year this day rolls around that celebrates love

All kinds of love!! Parents, friends, siblings, cousins, distant relatives, children; but the one type of love that tends to dominate your news feed, the media, the card shops, the adverts is spouse-love. It’s almostttt like the other types of love get pushed to the side and are inferior when it comes to good old V Day. I know what you’re thinking, what about the rest of us? The other half of the population who are yet to find the love of our life?! But fear not my friends, we all have plenty to celebrate; let me break it down.

First of all, I’m going to be very open with you. I don’t think many people know this about me, as it’s not exactly something I shout from the rooftops, but this year 2017, marks 10 years of life as a single woman. I know a few eyebrows may have raised and questions rush to the front of your mouth, ready to ask that one familiar question, “Why?” And I’m not quite sure of the answer, if I knew, I’d tell you. But I guess it’s a combination of things which makes it hard to put my finger on. Don’t get me wrong I have dated plenty in the past 10 years, but I am yet to meet somebody to call my boyfriend, and I am still yet to understand what it feels like to fall in love. What I do find slightly amusing is people’s “upfront-ness” when it comes to questioning me about my life as a singleton. Without meaning to, they tend to get into interrogation mode. If anybody has had this experience, attempting to explain why you’re single is a really uncomfortable thing to do. Let’s flip it around a second, I’m sure that if I asked somebody why they have continuously gone from failed relationship to failed relationship, it would not go down well!

Over the years, I have gone through so many phases and emotions in relation to my love life (or lack of) and I can honestly finally say, hand on heart, that I am 100% fulfilled as a single woman. Isn’t that bizarre, it only took 10 years!

Here’s a mini break down of how the past 10 years went!

Years 1-2 – FREEDOM!!! Not ready for a relationship, I want to travel the world and live a spontaneous and fun life!!

Years 3-4 – OK great! I’m settled a bit now, moving to London and back in the dating pool.

Years 4-5 – Getting irritated now, my heart is on my sleeve, met multiple “The One’s” but they keep disappearing and finding the loves of THEIR lives! Does Cupid hate me?!

Years 5-6 – I am SO ready to settle down!! My dreams no longer matter, if I meet him I’ll drop everything!!! Cannot stand looking at couples, where art thou Romeo?!

Year 7 – Love life rock-bottom!! Downward spiral. Surrounded by couples, engagements and romantic gestures. Really though, what if I never experience falling in love?

Years 8-9 – Hold on a minute?!!! This is so not me!! Shezza get your S%&T together!!

Dreams back on track, confidence grown, new plans for new adventures! Explore this beautiful planet. Fell head over heels in love – with myself!!

Year 10 – Wow wow wow!!! The happiest I’ve ever been. My goal is to inspire and motivate the world!! Teach others to love themselves the way that we each deserve. Challenge myself everyday. Put myself first!!

What a crazy little timeline. I’m not sure if you have been through similar internal battles, but hopefully seeing mine makes you realise that this is part of life; and going through tough times will (I promise) ultimately make you stronger. If I’d have met somebody before now, particularly in years 5-6, my life would be nowhere near where it is today!! Can you imagine!?! The most epic things I have done in my life to date have occurred in the past few years, and my old-self was willing to sacrifice all that for somebody that I clearly wasn’t ready for!! Eh? Humans are so ridiculous sometimes (or maybe just me) we think we know what we want, but have no friggin idea! Eternally grateful for the universe for stepping in when I needed it most.

So let’s go back to the date in question, Valentine’s Day! I saw lots of passive aggressive posts saying “why should we pick a particular day to show we love each other?!” Well hellooooooo who’d pass up on the chance to get showered with affection and a lovely hand written card from your love?! You may be one of the minority who get flowers and cards every single day from your lover, and if that’s the case, don’t ruin it for the rest of them!!! Technically, if we’re going to get all opinionated on the matter, when it comes to celebrating your birthday, we should apply the same rules. Your life should be celebrated everyday, right?!

For a single person, there’s an awkward air that surrounds the day. People ask “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?!” I don’t know what they’re expecting me to say. This year however, I did almost accidentally make plans for the big day!! I recently started dating this guy, he would never read this, so I don’t mind saying. I’m not sure I’m truly invested as I always completely forget to text him back and return his calls!! But we said we’d “Get some food in the week”. The only day we both could do was Tuesday, and me not realising the date was THE date, said yes. Then it clicked, and I couldn’t do it. I had to reschedule!! I could visualise the awkwardness in HD, and it wasn’t happening.

Overall the day is as we know, just another day. But a great opportunity to share the love, and scroll through my news feed collecting mental notes of the extravagant gifts I shall be expecting from my boy in future. Kidding!!! (I go on Pinterest for that!) I hope that all of you, whether in a relationship, single or “it’s complicated” had a great day!

Share the blog, share the love Love Sherilyn xx

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